Sunday, January 22, 2012

Bacon and eggs, dear

I didn't make any of this, but you betcha I ate it.  Unfortunately this morning I was not able to take on all 10 pieces of bacon myself, but another day we can work on making that a reality. 

Coming soon...WING WARS, in which I solemnly vow to undo several weeks of weight loss progress and champion a minimum of 25 wings in a condensed time frame.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Banana Cream

I have never actually owned a food processor or anything like one, so smoothies and purées have been a fairly foreign concept formerly reserved for those weird people who make vegetable shakes instead of eating salads.  Silly me - I've been missing out! 

Certainly anyone with half a brain has realized that tossing frozen sliced bananas and milk of some sort - soy and almond milk also work - into a food processor results in something richer and thicker than ice cream, yet way lower in fat, calories and sugar.  If you're feeling extra randy, you can throw in brownie or cookie pieces or pour the banana cream on top of another dessert.  On a snowy evening when warm blankets and Eskimo kisses are in order, nothing rounds out the sweetness of the moment quite like magic guilt-free banana cream.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Breaking the fast at Illium Cafe

At Illium Café, you can get the ILL-est breakfast in Troy!  harharhar!
 Illium Café, located on Broadway Ave in downtown Troy's "Monument Square," is a very necessary stop for breakfast (and lunch, but that's its own post) lovers who happen to be in the area.  Unlike the (goddamn awesome but deadly) $4 all-you-can-eat pancake special at Denny's, the offerings in Illium's grand yet adorably homey dining room are human-sized.  Prices are reasonable too, and the service is quick and friendly.

I went with the less-is-more "Parisian Omelette" for my early afternoon breakfast choice.  It turned out to be pretty rich, with generous helpings of egg, cheese, ham and buttery toast - and not so much greenery, which came in the form of cantaloupe and spinach.  My companion sprung for one of the black board specials - some kind of monstrous eggs Benedict concoction with asparagus, lump crab meat, pesto, goat cheese, and about twenty other artfully chosen ingredients.  Fortunately my food envy was only "mild" - I probably would have thrown up bright green slop out both holes if I'd had all that (oh-so-rich and wonderful) Hollandaise sauce.

"Parisian" omelette: Spinach, ham, gruyere, and chevre.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Tasty Hand Pulled Noodles

I hate New York City but there is so much to eat there.  After gorging myself on fork-tender chicken and fried plantains at Pio Pio and getting good and goozy on New Year's Eve, I clearly needed something substantial and greasy.  The no-brainer solution to the eternal question of "hung over" is "Chinese food" - but when faced with hundreds of options in New York, it gets tricky.  Luckily in our group of seven someone had an idea that we could run with.

Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles, located on 1 Doyer Street (map here). New York Magazine did a decent review of the place.  As a large-ish group we were seated right by the door and the table was drafty, but who's really going to fuss about that when you have six kinds of noodles to choose from?  The eponymous hand-pulled noodle is probably the most exciting kind to watch (there's an open kitchen - super cool to watch the chef banging away at huge slabs of Play-Doh-like noodle in the making), but the knife-pulled noodle served pan-fried on a plate was definitely the right choice for me:


As you can plainly see, knife-pulled noodles are HUGE - which makes for an incredibly satisfying mouth-texture that will satisfy any noodle craving. They also don't skimp on the vegetables, and portion sizes while monstrous are not impossible - I cleaned my plate and felt stuffed but not SICK afterward, which I think is the magic key to curing a hangover. 

(My face is normally about 50% this size.)

If it wasn't already obvious, I think everyone needs Tasty Hand (Knife) Pulled Noodles. The water on the table is probably diluted piss or Coors Light, but aside from that you can expect great food, prompt service (very polite by Chinaman standards), and excellent value for money.

Thank you Joanna Clark for the photos!